Tuesday, Sept 29, 2009 - The Latest

Erin has been slowly going down hill. She spends most of her days in bed. On occasion she will wake up and we will talk. She doesn't eat much, only fluids and has lost quite a bit of weight. She is fighting so hard, but the truth is her time is very close.

I am sad that Erin will be leaving this earth life but so grateful for the knowledge of the plan of salvation. I will miss her and ache for her but I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who loves Erin more than me. She has gone down hill so much over the past few weeks. Today I just laid by her on her bed and we talked and cried together. She told me was scared to go and I tried as best I could to help her know what it would be like and who would be waiting for her. She is my hero!! I am still strong in the gospel and the Lord. I love the Lord with all my heart. I know he has been with us. He has held me when I felt I could not take another breath. I have felt His comfort and His love. I know He is aware of me and my suffering. The other day as I was in the shower crying, I suddenly thought of Emma and Joseph Smith and all the children they buried and I thought what am I sad about. I will have buried only one. Still it is hard and my heart aches. But here is the message...I know God lives, I know he loves me and my little family. I know Jesus Christ died that we all might live together again some day and I know that if I keep my covenants I will get to be with Erin again, and I will get to be her mother and raise her in the next life. What comfort this gives me. Yes I know that my Redeemer lives. I know it more than ever before.

Thank you for your love and for your prayers. We love you and are forever grateful!!
All my love,